Baby myths: what people used to say and what is recommended today

Baby myths: kindly meant, but out of date

"You'll make a rod for your own back." "A walker will get them moving." "That necklace helps with teething." Baby myths like these almost always come from love. Whoever says them is passing on what was considered right in their day. That was not carelessness; it was the advice of the time.

Some things have changed since then. This page collects baby myths where today's recommendations from UK and US health bodies clearly point in a different direction. For each one you will find what people used to say, what is recommended today, and where that comes from. Not to correct anyone, but so you can answer calmly at the next family visit.

Closeness and comfort

Can you spoil a baby by holding them too much?

No. Today's advice is clear that responding to a young baby does not spoil them.

What people used to say: picking a baby up every time they cry teaches them to demand it. Leave them a little, or you will make a rod for your own back. For an earlier generation, routine mattered more than any single signal.

What is recommended today: the American Academy of Pediatrics writes on HealthyChildren.org that you cannot spoil a young baby with attention, and that babies whose calls for help are answered cry less overall. An NHS leaflet from Wirral Community Health and Care NHS Foundation Trust says the same: your baby will want to be close to you day and night, and you cannot spoil a baby with love, cuddles and attention. The leaflet names keeping your baby close in a sling among the ways to help a baby settle, and adds that studies suggest babies who are held, have their needs met and are not left to cry for long periods cry less and are more settled.

Moving: crawling and walking

Do baby walkers help babies walk?

No. Health bodies in the UK and the US advise against sit-in baby walkers.

What people used to say: a baby who stands up early and pushes off will learn to walk sooner. It sounded plausible, and in many homes a walker stood in the hall.

What is recommended today: the American Academy of Pediatrics says walkers do not help children learn to walk and can actually delay it. The leading cause of walker injuries is rolling down the stairs, and the AAP has called for a ban on the manufacture and sale of baby walkers with wheels. In the UK, the Royal Society for the Prevention of Accidents (RoSPA) states that baby walkers are not recommended. The Association of Paediatric Chartered Physiotherapists adds that physiotherapists do not recommend them either, and suggests the alternative: supervised time on the floor, including tummy time, rolling, sitting up, crawling and pulling to stand.

Do babies need to crawl before they walk?

No. Not all babies crawl, and that is a common variation.

What people used to say: crawling is a fixed stage every child should pass through before walking. On the playground it is often still the big topic.

What is recommended today: the NHS says in its Best Start in Life pages that not all babies crawl; some shuffle around on their bottoms instead. Babies find their own way of getting about, and each develops at their own pace. When someone asks whether your baby is crawling yet, "They get everywhere" is often the more accurate answer. If you have questions about how your baby moves, your health visitor is the right person to ask.

Teeth

Are amber teething necklaces safe?

No. Health bodies advise against amber teething necklaces and other teething jewellery.

What people used to say: an amber necklace around the neck eases teething pain. It was kindly meant, and for a long time it was everywhere.

What is recommended today: the U.S. Food and Drug Administration has received reports of deaths and serious injuries to babies and children, including strangulation and choking, caused by teething jewellery such as amber necklaces. The NHS children's service Just One Norfolk says there is no proof amber jewellery reduces teething pain, and that it is a choking and strangulation risk and should not be used. What helps instead: a teething ring to chew on. The NHS notes that some teething rings can be cooled in the fridge first, never in the freezer, and that a teething ring should never be tied around a baby's neck.

Answering calmly, without an argument

Grandparents, neighbours, friends: much of the advice comes from people who raised children themselves, and mostly out of affection. A friendly sentence is often enough, such as "That's changed since, the advice today is different." If you like, show the source. That way it stays a conversation about new knowledge, not a verdict on the past.

Frequently asked questions